cheesecakeforfuckssake asked: What do the laxatives do? I feel like I'd just get generally pissed off having to poop all the time. Also, do you run? I just started and I really hope I can lose some of my fat. I'm 107 lbs, 5'3" ish and extremely mad about it. I want to be 100 -_-

Laxatives only get ride of food and water weight. Please always remember that. If you want a more accurate weighing of yourself, that’s when you would take one. And, I don’t run. I’m not a good runner and I never really have been. I don’t exercise much at all, sadly. 107 is perfect for 5’3” babe, but I understand how you feel. 7 pounds isn’t much to lose though, so don’t sweat it, it won’t take too long. Just stay healthy girly:)

I know I’ve been weird lately. Even I can tell I’m being weird.

I finally started my period today. About 3-4 days before I start my period I always—and I mean always, it never fails—I get super moody. Every little thing pisses me off or makes me sad and then I’m fine within 10 minutes. I cry a whole lot over dumb shit and I overreact like nobodys business. I have large cravings for food and can’t tell myself no. PLUS, the worst of all, my boobs hurt to even be wearing a bra. Now, usually that only goes on for 4 days maximum. But see, I’m over a month late. For the entire month I have been pre-PMSing. I feel so bad for my boyfriend, I took most of it out on him which sucks but I know he’ll be glad that I’m finally going to be back to normal.

I’ll probably be on a little throughout the week. But I’m not going to be attempting any weightloss. Plus my mood and crazy hormones will be calmed so I probably won’t be overreacting, crying, or self-harming in any way. Gonna be pretty boring, but I think it’s a nice change. The best thing about being on my period means I’ve probably gained 3-4 pounds just from water retention and bloating and whatever. So I won’t have to fake weight at my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday.

Sunday (week from today) I’ll be detoxing and Monday I will weigh myself. Two weeks of summer left. Dammit.

Anonymous asked: what does a detox really supposed to do for your body? do you think it really works, is it a bad idea? why only those foods?

The idea of a detox diet is to cleanse your body of toxins. It also can help you lose weight, but that’s not the goal you should have. I chose those fruits because they’re high in antioxidants and of course, water and green tea, because they’re both natural. You can google “detox diets” or “detox fruits” and such things to find out more. Personally, I think it’s good to do a detox day every now and again.

This all happened yesterday. The only positive thing in the world right now is my Boy came back from his vacation yesterday, so I have a place to run to whenever I need to get away.

gauntanddrunk asked: thanks sweetie! and i was looking at your cutting pictures and im so sorry. i dont cut but i completely understand what its like to feel out of control and so screwed up. if you ever need anything you can talk to me :)

Thanks so much babe:) That really means a lot to me. I’m here for you as well.

Anonymous asked: please dont use laxatives their bad for you!!:/ be safe

They’re only bad when you abuse them. I don’t abuse them, I’ll be okay. Thanks though dear.

Because I’m too fucking scared to get on the scale.

I will only drink:
• Water
• Green tea

I will only eat:
• Apples
• Berries
• Melons
• Kiwis
• Cherries

• And laxatives

I have no calorie limit today. I’m not even counting. I just want to get all the bad food and toxins out of my body. I feel so nasty and disgusting. Today is my start-over. My clean slate. I’m going to weigh myself for the first time in a long time tomorrow morning. I’m dreading it already.

nuyorklover-deactivated20111225 asked: I wrote a facebook status for you. Well not that anyone knows but I just felt like you deserved it so much. <3 Here's what I wrote- Hey young girl. There's a big world ahead of you. I know how you feel so small and society pressures are impossible to measure up. But I came to tell you that; your still beautiful. Your still strong. Your amazing beyond words can ever say. Stay beautiful young girls. ♥ I suffer from anxiety too and your personal posts on your page I can relate to. I hope your okay beautiful. God bless you forever.

Aw:3 You are sososooo sweet. That is the nicest thing ever. I hope you know how much that means to me. Thank you babe:) Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Anonymous asked: Love you tay:)

I’m assuming you’re the same anon who sent the 2 other questions, so I will just post this. Thank you so much. Means a lot to me that you took the time to send me these. I love you as well, whoever you are:)

livefornightsthatyouwontremember asked: dont cut honey. ): Please, find something else to distract you and to take the stress away. Take a hot bath, blast the music, go for a walk, a bike ride, skateboard, do something that is positive.

I just hope you know how much this means to me. Because it truly does mean the world to me. Thanks so much:)

It’s slightly comforting.

Scheming a place to cut that I can hide. I need relief. Too much stress. Too much pain. Too much anxiety. Too much every thing. I’ve got no grasp on my life or hope or happiness or fucking sanity. Every bit of that slid through my hands and fell apart.

Time to numb myself.

gauntanddrunk asked: just wanted to say that i love your blog and we have like the same stats (16, 5'8, 103.5)
xxx

Oh wow! Super similar stats. I’ll be keeping an eye on your blog;) Jealous of your 103! Good luck lovely.